Sumo, let's watch a movie!

English by Bogart





Naku, gusto ko yan!
Hey, I like that!




Naku, tamang tama kasi medyo bored ako.
Eh, ano ba ang palabas?
You're just in time because I'm bored.
So what is showing?


Okay, take your pick!

The Haunted
Drag Me To Hell
Transformer
Harry Potter
Hannah Montana
The Proposal



Naku, nang-iinis ka ba?
Mukhang aatakihin ako sa puso sa mga iyan!
Are you kidding?
Those films will give me a heart attack!



Sigurado akong nang-aasar ka!
Iyang t-shirt mo nang-aasar kaya!
I am sure you're pestering me!
That shirt alone is pestering me!



Kagatin kaya kita!
I should bite you!



Hmp!
Makaalis na nga . . .
Hmp, I better go . . .

Hoy, Ano Na Naman Kinakain Mo!

Hey, what are you eating again?
English by Bogart




Ano na naman iyan?
Mukhang masarap yan ah!
What is that? It looks delicious!



Patikim!
Kahit konti lang!
Let me taste!
Even just a bit!





Ay salamat!
Oh thanks!



Hmmm, lasang batong tinadtad ng asukal!
Ano ba yang cashew something na yan!
Kung si Sweepy pa, yikes kaya!
Hmmm, taste like a rock filled with sugar!
What is that cashew thing!
As Sweepy will say 'yikes'!



Ayaw ko na niyan!
Di ko type!
I don't like anymore.
It's not my type!




Hmp, sinabi ng ayaw ko na!
Naku wag mo akong kulitin
baka ikaw ang kainin ko
yari ka!
Hmp, I said I don't like anymore!
Don't pester me or I'll eat you instead!

Sumo, the Attack Dog

Sugod Sumo Sugod!
Attack, Sumo, Attack!
English by Bogart





Ayan.
Bantayan mo ang porma ko na iyan.
Iyan ang porma na handang sumugod!
There.
Watch that pose of mine.
That is the pose that is ready to strike!


Uy, Sumo, ask ko lang:
Eh sino naman susugurin mo?
Hey, Sumo, let me ask:
But who are you going to attack?


Eto.
Panoorin mo!
Here.
Watch this!
(Ayaw kaya i-upload ang video ko!
But my video won't upload!)




Nakup!
Eh di ba kama ni Luchi iyan?!!!
Eh di ba allergic sa balahibo ng hayop si Luchi?
Naku, tinamaan ka ng magaling!
Tama ba namang atakihin ang kama ni Luchi?!?
Siguradong kakatihin ng katakut-takot yon!!!
Oh no!
Isn't that the bed of Luchi?!!!
Isn't Luchi allergic to animal furs?
Oh, you really did it this time!
Imagine attacking the bed of Luchi?!?
For sure she will itch all over!!!


O sya.
Mukhang napurnada ata!
Nabigla lang po!
Tao lang po!
Este, aso lang po!
Uy, huwag nyo ako isusumbong ha!
Oh-oh.
I think I got it bad!
Sorry but I just got carried away!
I'm just human!
Er, I'm just a dog!
Please don't tell anybody!


O sya. Babu!
Ok, that's it. Bye!

Sumo's Halo-Halo

This is called diabetically yours to-die-agad dessert. If you are diabetic, this will kill you in seconds! These people should put an X mark over it!

Naku, pasensya na but wala na naman akong translator kaya ako na naman din iyon. I have no stupid translator so I'm doin the job too! My sharp sense of smell alerted me to it. I ran fast to the kitchen and saw the piping hot, makamatay na amoy, at hoy, kasali ako dyan ha! Hey, I'm having that too!




Halo-halo is the pinoy version of fruit sherbet. And this one is our house Heaven's version. Haaay! Salamat at 'di ako diabetic! Oh, thanks goodness I am not diabetic!


And this is Heaven's Halo-Halo:




You get a big bowl of crushed ice.
Aba, we crush our own ice in Heaven.
We don't use electric but a manual ice crusher.
Tipid pa sa kuryente. Save on electricity.



Now, scoop some of the sweetened bananas, langka and sago and top it on the mountain of crushed ice! Spoon some syrup too . . . ay, MAMATAY! Ahhhhh death!





Tapos, you get chilled cream and voila!




My version of death!
Yummy. Cool. Quick fix on a hot day.


Ang Halo-halo ay tunay na pinoy.
The Halo-halo is truly pinoy.
Gaya ko, maraming pinoy may halo ang lahi.
Like me, a lot of pinoys have mixed blood.
Tulad ni Obama, maraming mongrel!
Like Obama, a lot are like mongrels!
Eh bakit ka naman mahihiya kung tisoy ka!
But why will you be ashamed if you have mixed blood!

Gaya ng halo-halo ko
na tunay namang unique
masarap, at kaaya-aya!
Like my halo-halo which is really unique, delicious and satisfying!
Busog ka talaga sa sarap!
You'll really feel full and satisfied!



At ang magandang kasunod diyan ay malalim at matagal na tulugan!
The best aftermath to that is a long and deep nap!
Ahahay buhay!
Ahhhh life!

Bantay Ako Ng Bantay . . .

I Am Always Watching . . .
English by Bogart





Ayan.
Bantay sa umaga.
Bantay sa gabi.
Buong araw
ang pagitan lang
ang pagtulog at pagkain . . .

There.
I watch in the morning.
I watch at night.
All day I watch broken only by my sleep and eating. . .




At iyan.
Iyan ang dahilan kung bakit ako nagbabantay!
Nakikita mo ba iyan?
Kahibangan!
There. That is the reason I am always watching!
Do you see that? Craziness!


Sus, sumalangitnawa!
Bumaba ka dyan hoy!
Maghunos dili ka at bumaba ka na dyan!
Geez, heavenhelpus!
Hey, get down from there!
Get hold of yourself and get down now!




Hay salamat! Bumaba rin.
Hindi ko kayang tingnan baka mahulog kaya!
Na-poopoo tuloy ako!
O dahan dahan, may bomba dyan!
Ah thanks! Got down at last.
I can't even watch in case she falls!
I pooed. Okay watch it!
There's a bomb there!

May Kuwento Rin Ako!

I Have A Story Too!
English translations by Bogart






Yaman din lang na sinimulan ng anak kong si Sweepy magkuwento ulit hala sige join ako dyan! Aba ako ata ang nagturo sa mga kumag na iyan! Ako ata ang naghele sa mga kumag na iyan noong tuta pa sila! At ako ang nagturo sa buong Heaven (ang pangalan ng bahay namin in case makalimutin ka) kung paano makitang sumayaw ang mga faeries na nachika ni Bogart sa blog nya at marinig kumanta ang mga bulaklak. Lahat ng iyan ako ang nagturo. Pati sa mga tao sa Heaven marunong na rin. Siyempre, Alpha ata ako! Kaya't heto makinig ka, este basahin mo pala ang kuwento ko . . .
Since my pup Sweepy started writing stories again I may as well join in! After all, I was the one who taught him to do that! I was the one who sang lullabies to them when they were still puppies! And I taught the whole of Heaven (the name of house in case you're forgetful) how to see the fairies dancing which Bogart just showed in his blog and how to hear the flowers singing. I was the one who taught all of these to them. Even to the people in Heaven now knows this too. But of course, I am the Alpha dog. That is why you should listen or read my own story . . .





Natatandaan mo ba si Mr Leach?
Naku iyung linta na mahilig makisabat sa usapin ng mga aso.
Mahilig rin iyan sumali sa usapin ng mga tao pero dahil hindi siya gaanong naririnig ng mga tao, bale wala ang mga dakdak nya sa mga ito.
Do you remember MrLeach?
That is the leech who loves to meddle in dog's talk.
He loves to join in people's talk too but since they can not hear him well, his ramblings go unheard.




Madalas kong makita iyang si MrLeach dumalaw sa amin sa Heaven. Paborito daw nya kami. Ewan ko lang pero hindi naman talaga ako paborito ng linta na iyan. Wari ko nagpapa-cute lang iyan sa akin kasi madalas ko siyang natatapakan sa tuwing dumadalaw iyan sa Heaven. Eh bakit naman kasi kung saan saan naglalakad at saksakan pa ng bagal kaya ayun madalas kong mapisat iyan! Sumalangitnawaanglinta!
I often see MrLeach visit us in Heaven. He said we are his favorite. I don't know because I am not really the favorite of that leech. I think he's just trying to be cute because I often stepped on him every time he visits Heaven. How can I not when he just walks all over and does it too slow which is why I always flatten him to the ground. Heavenhelpthyleech!



Kaya't madalas magtago iyang si MrLeach sa akin sa tuwing dumadalaw siya sa Heaven. Madalas ko siyang nakikitang nagtatago pero hindi ko na lang pinapansin. Eh di ko naman siya feel kuwentuhan kaya't dinededma ko lagi iyan!
That is why MrLeach would always hide from me every time he visits Heaven. I often see him hiding but I don't mind. After all I don't feel like talking to him so I just ignore him!



Pero alam mo, may sekreto iyang linta na iyan!
But you see, that leech has a secret!



At eto ang sekreto niya!
And here is his secret!



Ang milagrosa naming si Chicky!
Ang magandang puno ng chico namin.
Iyan ang sekreto ni MrLeach!
Iyan ang tunay na pakay ng linta na iyan
sa tuwing dumadalaw sa Heaven!
Nabunyag na ang sekreto niya!
Our miraculous Chicky!
Our beautiful chico tree.
That is the secret of MrLeach!
That is the real reason of that leech
everytime he visits Heaven!
And now his secret is revealed!





Nahuli ko minsan si MrLeach na unti-unting lumalapit kay Chicky at doon siya nahihimlay ng matagal na mahigpit na nakakakapit sa kamay ni Chicky!
I once saw Mr Leach slowly approach Chicky and there he lies for a long time, clutching tightly at Chicky's arms!



Marahil nagtataka kayo sa kuwentong ito. Marahil hindi ninyo maisip-isip kung bakit nga. Kaya't tinawag ko si Bogart na siyang magaling magsalin sa loobin ng mga nakatira sa Heaven. Eto at pakinggan nyo:
Maybe you were wondering about this tale. Maybe you can't understand why. So I called Bogart who is the best interpreter of the feelings of all those living in Heaven. So listen to this:


MrLeach:
i luv heaven bt n truth i go hir 2 c my g8 luv chicky.
chicky s lyk ma family coz she tok care f us ol!
altho i luv seein d hounds n heavn
i prefer 2 c chicky. . .

I love Heaven but in truth I go here to see my great love Chicky.
Chicky is like my family because she took care of us all!
Although I love seeing the hounds in heaven
I prefer to see Chicky . . .



Ah, yun naman pala!
Astig din itong si MrLeach.
May kabanata pala ang istorya nila.
Sus, kuwentong kutsero pala!
Makaalis na nga . . .
baka maapakan ko ang isa diyan!
Ah, so that's it!
MrLeach is kindda cool.
I see that their story is a long chapter.
Geez, it's a tall tale indeed!
I better get out of here . . .
before I stepped on somebody there!

Hoy Ano Yan!

hey, wat s dat?
English by MrLeach





Sandali lang!
Saan ka pupunta?
Ano ba yang sa kamay mo?

w8 a mi8!
wer u goin?
wats dat n yer hand?






Naku! Wala po! Mini-cheesecake lang po!
o my! nothin! jaz a mini-cheezcake!



Anong wala?
Eh paborito ko ata yan!
Amoy pa lang tulo na laway ko!

wat do u mean nothin?
daz ma favorite!
d smell alone makes me drool!




Pwes, walang dadaan!
Walang dadaan dito hanggang di ko natitikman iyan!

der4, no passin!
nobody cn paz til i tasted dat!


At sino naman kaya itong interpreter ko?
Parang nangiinis kaya!
Pag di mo ako tinigilan
baka maapakan kita!

en hu s dz nterpreter?
seems 2 b teasin me!
f u dont stop il step over u!


nooooooo, sumo!
pleez dont!
im jaz a leech passin by.
bogart s sleepin so cant work.
il wake ur biggy pup nw.
c ya.
babu.