Naku, Ano Na Naman Yan!?!

Now What Is That!?!
Translation by Bogart



Ang tawag diyan KAMATAYAN.
They call that DEATH.



Kainin mo yan at iikli ang buhay mo!
You eat that and you shorten your life!



Kapag inalok iyan sa iyo . . .
If someone offers it to you . . .




Aba siyempre, TANGGAPIN MO NO!
But of course, you must ACCEPT IT!


Buhay man isusuko ko matikman lang ang diabetically-yours na yan!
I will surrender my life just to have a taste of that diabetically-yours thing!


Namnamin mo ng todo!
Savor it well!



Hoy, sandali lang!
Hey, wait a minute!

Eh, saan kaya napunta ang kamay? Kainin ba pati kamay!
Now where did the hands go? Must you eat the hands!


Naku, mag-ingat ka, Sumo! May kasabihan ang matatanda:
Hey, watch it, Sumo! The elders have a saying for it:

Don't Eat The Hands That Feed You


Hoy, hindi ako naniniwala sa sabi-sabi na ganyan. Lalo na kung ang pag-uusapin ay kainan. Naku, maniwala ka sa mga matatandang iyan! Minsan ka lang mamatay kaya siguraduhin mong ninamnam mo ang buhay mo para sabihing sulit magpakamatay para dito!
Hey, I don't believe in sayings like that especially when it comes to eating. Don't believe those oldies! You only die once so you better make sure you enjoy your life and it is worth dying for!


Uy, meron pa o, Sumo!
Hey there's still some Sumo!

Hindi mo kinain ang chocolate-peanut-butter crust!
You did not eat the chocolate-peanut-butter crust!


Ay No . . .
Ah No . . .

Kalabisan na yan pag kinain ko yan.
Kamatayan na tunay na yan.
Bawal kaya ang chocolates sa amin!
That's too much already.
That's real death if I eat that.
Chocolates are bad for us!


Iyo na yan.
Namnamin mo nang husto!
Now that is yours.
Enjoy it well!


Matakaw ako . . .
I love eating . . .

. . . pero hindi naman labis-labis.
Tama-tama lang naman . . .
. . . but I don't overdo it.
I exercise moderation . . .


Iyan ang magandang aralin sa Araw ng Kagitingan at Buwan ng Wika nitong Agosto. Alamin mo ang mahalaga, ang tunay mong gusto, at gawin mo ito ayon sa nararapat. Huwag kang labis. Huwag kang kulang. Tama-tama ka lang . . . at tunay kang bayani ng buhay mo. Mabuhay tayong mga Pinoy!

And that is the best lesson for National Heroes Day and the National Language Month this August. Know what is important, what you really like, and do what is necessary. Don't go overboard. Don't be anything less. Just exercise moderation. . . and you will be the hero of your life. Long live the Pinoys!

Hindi Ka Pinoy Kung Di Mo Gusto Ito!

You are not Pinoy if you do not like this!
Translated by Bogart



Aba, iyan ang tunay na pampalamig! Kapag dumaan iyan sa RainbowAvenue at nagmamala-mistulang na-uulul at nagsisisigaw ng "buko!" . . . aba, hoy! Halika dito!
Hey, now this is the real refreshment! When the vendor passes by RainbowAvenue and sounds like a madman shouting "buko" (coconut) you go, 'hey, over here!"


Pagbi-ak ng buko . . .
When the coconut is cracked opened . . .

. . . at pagdaloy ng . . . juice-ko day!
. . . and the juice flows out!




. . . at pag nahimas ang malamig nitong laman . . .
. . . and the cool flesh are scooped out . . .




Ahhhhh! Isa pa nga!
Ahhh, i want another one!


At ito pa ang kasunod! Pinoy merienda na swak talaga: buchi at suman na bubudburan ng niyog at latik, ahahay buhay! Naku, bigyan mo ko ng marami!
And here's the next level! Pinoy snacks that's just perfect: buchi (sesame rice balls with mongo fillings) and suman (rice cakes) and topped with fresh grated coconut and coconut syrup, ahhh what a life! Hey, give me more of that!


Hoy Sumo, hanggang buko ka lang no!
Bawal kaya ang malagkit sa iyo!
Baka makadikit-dikit ang ngala-ngala mo yari ka!
Hey Sumo, you get only the buko juice!
The sticky sweets are not for you!
They might glue your jaws, serves you right!

Sumo, Good News!

Translated by Bogart




Uy, congrats Sumopie! Mwah!
Naku, na-nominate ka pala sa Philippine Blog Awards!
Hey, congrats Sumo-pie!
But you got nominated for the Philippine Blog Awards!



Naku, dahan-dahan naman ang kiss mo, Luchie!
Nakakahiya kaya sa mga nakakakita!
Hey, go slow with your kisses, Luchie!
It is embarrassing to onlookers!



Eh wala namang nakakakita ah?
Saka okay lang yun! Cute ka naman kasi!
But nobody's looking.
Besides it's OK. 'Cause you're so cute!


Naku, hindi ako cute no!
Nakakata-cute kaya, awoooooo!
But I'm not cute! I look ta-cute
(Bogart: from filipino word Takot meaning scary)


Bueno, nariyan na rin lang ang mga Pinoy fans ko
mabuti pa ipakilala ko kung sino talaga ako!
Anyway, since my Pinoy fans are here
I may as well introduce myself!

Ako ay Asong Pinoy. Naku, hindi Aspin ha! Ang asong pinoy daw ay aspin. Naku parang tunog alipin. Waring nang-aalipusta na naman kaya! Lahat ng asong pinanganak sa Pinas ay asong pinoy. Kadalasan sa amin ay Asong Tisoy o may halo ang lahi. O hindi askal yan ha! Ang askal ay asong kalye. Mga asong pinabayaan sa kalye ng malulupit nilang kaibigang tao. Kaya askal ang tawag sa kanila. Sa mga walang alam, akala nila ang mga asong tisoy ay asong pinoy. Eh wala namang asong lahing pinoy. At ang taong tumatawag ng askal ay ang mga taong nag-aalipusta ng lahi nila. Sila iyung mga pinoy ng maliit ang tingin sa kanilang kultura. Ang asong pinoy daw askal. Ang pinoy ice cream daw dirty eh hindi naman. Sorbetes ang tawag dun!

I am a Pinoy Dog. I am not Aspin. They say that pinoy dogs are called aspins. But aspin sounds like alipin or slave. It sounds derogatory! All dogs born in the Philippines are Pinoy dogs. Most of us are Mongrels or with mixed breed. And mixed breeds are not strays. Askals mean strays. They are dogs abandoned in the streets by their cruel human friends which is why they are called strays. For those who do not know, they thought mongrels are Pilipino breeds. But there are no Philippine-breed dogs. People who use the term askal are those who degrade their culture. They are the Filipinos who thinks their culture is inferior. Thus, the pinoy dog is a stray. They call the local ice cream dirty even if it is not. Sorbetes is the right name for it.


Mayaman at maganda ang mga bagay na Pinoy. Kung nahihiya ka at nanliliit sa pagka-pinoy mo, aba eh wag mo na kaming mga asong pinoy isali dyan hoy! Hindi sa lahi nakukuha ang galing ng isang aso. Ang asong magaling ay minahal na magaling. . . tulad ko!
Pinoy stuff are rich and beautiful. If you are embarrassed or feels inferior about your being a pinoy, you better not include pinoy dogs like us! The greatness of a dog is not in its breed. A great dog is one that is greatly loved . . . just like me!



Ang asong magaling ay gawa ng taong magaling mag-alaga sa kanya! Katulad ng batang pinalaki ng mabuting magulang! O swak, di ba?
A great dog is made by a great keeper! Just like a child bred by good parents. Great, isn't it?


Katulad ng taong nag-aalaga sa akin. Pati aso ng kapitbahay naman pilit niyang binabantayan at inaaruga! Pati kami mahal namin ang kapitbahay namang si Dawgy!
Just like the person who takes care of me who cares and watches even our neighbor's dog! So we also love our neighbor Dawgy!



Proudly Pinoy ako.
Sana proud ka rin sa akin kasi proud ako sa inyo!
I am Proudly Pinoy.
I hope you are proud of me because I am proud of you!

Mabuhay, PBA!

Aba, Pasko na ata!

Hey, I think it's Christmas!
Translated by Bogart




Aba, tingnan mo iyan! Paskong-pasko di ba?
Look at that! It is so Christmas-y, right?



Naku hindi no! Gelatin kaya yan. Para sa halo-halo ni Lui iyan.
Nope it's not! That's gelatin for Lui's fruit sherbet.



Aba, mukhang masarap iyan! Swak sa tag-init at tag-ulan! Patikim!
But hey, it looks delicious! Perfect for sunny and rainy days! Let me taste!



Aba, tinamaan ng magaling! Lasang wala kaya!
Aba, meron pala nun. Makulay pero walang lasa!
Hey, hit me right! It taste nothing.
So there is such a thing. It's colorful but has no taste!



O, gusto mo pa ba?
So, do you want some more?



Yech! Hindi na no! Lasang WALA kaya iyan! Solohin mo na yan! Pakainin ba ako ng wala! Hndi kaya masira ang pangil ko, mahabaging langit!
Yech! Never! It taste NOTHING! You can have it all to yourself! Imagine making me eat something tasteless! I wonder if my fangs will get destroyed by that, holy heavens!

Sumo!

Translated to English by Bogart




Ano na naman?!!!
What is it?!!


Napansin mo na naman ang mukha ko! Talagang ganyan ang mukha ko na kahit na masaya ako mukhang galit na halimaw pa rin. Kaya tantanan mo na ako no!
Are you noticing my face again? My face really looked like an angry beast even if I am happy so please do not bother me anymore!


Ha?
Gusto mo malaman kung sino ang kamukha ko?
What? You wanted to know who resembles my face?


Aba sigurado hindi itong mga anak ko!
Well, for sure not my puppies!

Mukha silang tuttie-fruttie cutey kaya! Naku, never ako ganyan!
They looked like tuttie-fruttie-cutey! And I never looked like that!




Ang tunay kong kamukha ay eto:
The one who resembles me most is this:



Ang kaibigan kong si Lui, sino pa! Swak kaya!
My friend Lui who else! Really perfect!



O, ano ang masasabi mo, Lui? Mukha tayong kambal kaya!
So what can you say, Lui? We really looked like twins!



Aba siyempre wala siyang masabi. Hindi siya makahirit baka kagatin ko kaya siya!
Of course she can not comment. For sure she can not react in case I bite her!

Naku, Bakit Ganyan Ang Mukha Mo Sumo?!!

Oh my, why do you look like that Sumo?!!
Translated to English by Bogart




Mukha ba akong Biyernes Santo?
Do I look like its Good Friday?


Eh ikaw ba naman ang magising sa malalim, masarap at mapayapang pagtulog . . .
If you find yourself awakened from a deep, delightful and peaceful sleep . . .


. . . sa inggay ng pagdaloy ng mga luha at pag-iyak ng mga tao sa paligid . . . ang tahimik na hagulgul . . . sa bulong ng mga dasal . . . sa lakas ng paghinga ng malalim . . . at tibok ng nag-aalalang damdamin, aba, rinig ko lahat iyan!
. . . to the noise of tears falling and people crying around . . . the silent wail . . . the whispers of prayers . . . the deep intake of breath . . . and the beat of troubled hearts, of course, I hear them all!


Kaya't dali-dali akong nagbihis. Saan man ang dapat puntahan, pupunta ako!
So I immediately dressed up. Anywhere that I needed to go, I will go!




Sasama ako kahit mapanganib man.
I will go even if it is dangerous.



Masungit man ang panahon, sasama ako!
Even if the weather is not fine, I will go!



Bumaha man, tutuloy pa rin ako!
Even if it gets flooded, I will still go!



Pero siyempre pag medyo baha . . .
But of course when its flooded . . .

. . . eh di doon ka sa medyo mataas naman ano!
. . . you try to stay on higher ground!

At kahit magulo
at hindi ko lubos maintindihan
ang mga nangyayari, tutuloy pa rin ako.
Even if its confusing and I don't fully understand
what is happening, I will still go.

Ang inggay kaya ng mga tao!
The people are so noisy!



Kaya kong gawin ito
kasi alam ko na nasa tabi ko
ang taong magsisigurong babantayan ako.
I can do this because I know
that the person who will protect me is beside me.

Kaya kung anuman ang feel niyang gawin aba sasali ako!
So whatever she feels like doing I will join her!


At kahit sa kahulihulihan . . .
at tapos na ang lakad ko
at medyo napagod ako
masaya ako na ginawa ko
ang dapat kong gawin.
And in the end . . .
when I'm done with my trip
and I am tired I still feel happy
knowing I was able to do
what I have to do.




Nakiisa ako sa pagbigay pugay at dasal
sa mahal kong bayaning tunay . . .
I went and paid tribute and prayed
to my beloved hero . . .


Kaya huwag mo nang tanungin
kung bakit ganito ang mukha ko.
So don't ask why I look like this.

Sapagkat sa mga mukha na iyan
nakaukit ang pinagsama-samang
tuwa, lungkot, pagmamahal,
pamamaalam at pagpapalaya . . .
sa taong tunay mong minahal!
Because in that face is etched
the joy, sadness, love,
farewell and letting go
of someone you truly love!


Paalam Pangulong Cory Aquino!
Goodbye President Cory Aquino!