Hoy, Ang Ingay!!!

Hey, It's Noisy!
Translated to English by Quark


Aba, tinamaan ng lekat! Ano ba naman iyan, Sweepy?! Kaingay-ingay kaya! Natutulog pa naman ako! (Hey, what's the fuss! What's that, Sweepy? It's so noisy and I was sleeping!)


Ah, basura pala! Aba, okay lang iyan. Magagalit si Lui kapag hindi kumuha iyan sa takdang araw. O sya, makatulog na nga ulit . . . (Oh, its the garbage collector! Oh, that's okay. Lui will get angry if they don't collect on schedule. I better get back to sleep . . .)


Ay, tinamaan ng kidlat! Ay, ano na naman iyan! Kaingay-ingay kaya!
(Hey, hit by thunder! What's that again?!! It's too noisy!)

Sus, banda galing sa Cavite pala! Hoy, bakit ba kayo nagtututugtog sa katanghalian???
(Oh, its a band from Cavite town! But why are you playing in the middle of the afternoon?)

Anong pista? Pista ni San Lorenzo Ruiz, ang Pilipinong santo. Aba, pista pala sa atin, Sweepy! Eh bakit walang bandiritas? Nasaan ang handaan? Nasaan ba si Lui? Anong klaseng pista ba ito!
(What feast? Oh, its the feast of San Lorenzo Ruiz, the Filipino saint. So its fiesta in our place, Sweepy! But why are there no buntings, no buffet feasts, and where is Lui? What kind of fiesta is this anyway!)

Ay naku, hindi na raw uso ang pista sa aming nayon. Sabi ng anak kong si Sweepy naguguluhan daw siya kasi dalawa ang pista sa amin. Meron kay San Lorenzo at sa Oktubre, kay Santo Rosario naman! Dalawa ang pista namin kasi dalawa rin ang simbahan dito. Teka, parang ang daming simbahan kaya sa amin! Pero sigurado, may handa na si Lui sa susunod na buwan! Teka, imbitahin ko kaya ang mga ka-berks ko.
(Oh, but they don't celebrate fiesta in my town anymore! Sweepy said it is confusing because we have two fiestas! One for San Lorenzo and in October it is the Holy Rosary month! We have two fiestas because there are two churches in our place! I'm sure Lui will prepare a feast next time! I better invite my friends over)

O sya, matutulog na ako ulit! Wag na kayo maingay ha!
(Ok, I'm going back to my nap! Don't be too noisy now!)

Radyo Blues, Part 2

Nakup, sinasabi ko na nga ba!
(Oh, I knew it!)

Kapag natapos ang imbestigasyon nariyan na ang sisihan, iyakan, may mag-re-resign, may sasama sa oblo. (When the investigation is over, there will be a lot of finger-pointing, crying, somebody will resign, and somebody to go to "oblo")

Eh, ano ba ang oblo, Lui?
(But what is 'oblo', Lui?)

Ah, loob. Sabi kasi ni Iskho kung makukulong daw si Mayor, sasama siya sa oblo o sa loob. Sa loob ng kulungan. Aba, eh di magsama na kayo!
(Oh, it means inside. Iskho said that if the Mayor will get jailed, he will join him inside. Inside the cell. So why don't you join each other!)

Naku, Mayor. Tama kayo na handa ialay ng pulis ang buhay niya. Pero handa rin ang ibang pulis na putulin ang buhay ng iba. Aba, hindi ba nakunan ng video ang pag-alipusta ng pulis sa isang bilanggo kamakailan?
(Oh, Mayor, you're right to say that the police are ready to offer their life for their work. But other policemen are also ready to cut the life of others. Didn't somebody took a video of a police terrorizing a prisoner recently?)

Pero hindi iyan ang isyu, Mayor! Ang isyu ay pananagutan pala ninyo bumuo ng grupo para tugisin ang mga kriminal sa lahat ng oras. Hindi ninyo nagawa iyan kaya nasabihan kayo. Ganyan talaga ang buhay. Sasabunin ka kapag hindi mo ginawa ang responsibilidad mo. (But that's not the issue, Mayor! The issue is that you failed to set up a group to get the criminals at all hours. You failed to do it that's why your attention was called. But that's life. You get reprimanded if you don't do your responsibility)

Tulad ko rin. Kapag may nakapasok sa bahay, nakup, yari ako kay Lui! (Just like me. If a trespasser enters our house, Lui will get me!)

Ang tutuong mali sa lahat ng nangyari ay si Rolando. Patay na siya kaya nasagot na niya ang mali niya! (The real culprit is Rolando but he's dead so he was able to answer to his wrongdoing)

Ang isa pang mali ay si Gregorio na gumawa lang ng gulo at ni hindi man lang napagalitan! (The other culprit is Gregorio who just created a stir and was not even scolded!)

Hay, ANOBANAMANIYAN, bayan!
(Oh, WHATTHEHECK, people!)


Naku, pasensya na. Medyo nadala lang ako sa mga naririnig ko sa radyo. Sobrang ingay kasi. Hindi ako makatulog tuloy. (Oh, forgive me. I got carried away with what I hear on the radio. It's too noisy and I can't sleep)

Anong oras na ba? (But what time is it?) Oras na atang kumain eh nagpipinta pa si Lui! (I think it is time to eat and Lui is still painting!) Hoy, kumilos ka na diyan, Lui! (Hey, get a move Lui!) At gutom na ang bantay mo dito no! (Your guard dog here is hungry!)

Walang masahol sa tahol ng gutom na bantay.
Nothing is worse than the barking of a hungry guard dog.

English by Quark

Radyo Blues!

Nakinig ako sa radyo minsan.
(I listened to the radio one time)

Naku, alam mo na siguro iyung isang-katerbang walang puknat na ingay na AM station. (Oh, you probably know that non-stop noisy AM station)

Aba, kahapon lamang narinig ko ang idol kong si Karen na tawa ng tawa sa 'pag-mahirap, pag mayaman' na mga jokes na pinadala via text. (Just yesterday, I heard my idol Karen laughing about the "rich and poor" jokes sent via text)

Parang ganito yon. (This is how it goes)

Kapag mayaman Allergy. Kapag mahirap Galis.
(If you're rich it's Allergy, but if you're poor it's scabs)

Kapag mayaman Cough. Kapag mahirap Ubo.
(Cough and ubo means the same thing)

Kapag mayaman Credit Card. Kapag mahirap Utang! (Utang=Debts)

Kapag mayaman Shower. Kapag mahirap Tabo. (Tabo=Water scooper)

Hay, naku! Paulit-ulit na kabaliwan! (Oh, never-ending madness!) Eh wag ka. Hindi basta bastang tao ang nagpapadala ng text ha. Nariyan si Erap, si Tito Sen, si RickyLo, at marami pang iba! (And these are not ordinary people who sends text. There's President Estrada, Senator Tito Sotto, Ricky Lo, etc.)

Aba, nainis ako! (Hey, I got irritated!) Eh, hindi naman mayaman-mahirap ang mga jokes na iyan ah! (But these are not rich-poor jokes!) Kung susuriin mo, madalas puro english to pinoy lang naman ah! (If you listen closely they are mostly english to pilipino translations only!) Nanlait na naman ng pagka-Pilipino nila! Kapag english mayaman, at pag pinoy mahirap? (They looked down on their being a Pilipino again! It is like saying that english is rich and pilipino is poor?

Ang nakakatawa kung nagpapaka-sosyal eh hindi naman. Tulad nito: (The funny ones are those who pretend to be rich when they're not. Like this:)

Pag mayaman, Wine. Pag mahirap, Am. (If you're rich it's Wine. But if you're poor, it's rice wine)

Pag mayaman Hermes. Pag mahirap Henes. (Inis)
Pag mayaman Starbucks, pag mahirap Starbuko. (Buko=Coconut juice)
Pag mayaman Louis Vuitton, pag mahirap Lumang Biton! (Lumang biton=old shoeshine)
Pag mayaman Steaks, mag mahirap stick lang.

Hay naku, makatulog na nga! (Oh, I better go and take a nap!)



Translated to english by Quark

Ang Nawala Kong Identity . . .

My Lost Identity, translated to English by Quark


Nagising ako minsan sa nagtititiling si Lui.
(I woke up to Lui's shrill voice)

Nasaan daw ba ang collar ko, tanong niya.
(She wanted to know where my collar is)
Aba, ma-pa ko! (FYI, to some Pinoys: Sumo's ma-pa meant "malay ko" and "paki ko" which translates to I don't know and I don't care!)

Sabi ni Lui kapag wala daw akong collar, mukhang wala din daw akong identity! (Lui said I don't have an identity if I don't have my collar)

Aba, tinamaan ng kidlat! Aba, at kelan ba nakasalalay ang pagkatao, este, pagka-aso ko, sa dyaskeng collar na iyan! (Lightning strike! Since when did my identity relied on that collar!)


Ako si Sumo may collar man o wala. Hubo't hubad man, nariyan pa rin ang identity ko! Ano ka ba, Lui! (I am Sumo with or without my collar. Naked and all, my identity is intact! What's the matter with you Lui!)

Lui: The matter is, that I went crazy looking for your collar all day and Luchie found it stuck in the plants the next day!


Lui: You forgot where you left it and you do not have the power anymore to locate it, Sumo! See, you lost your senses, Sumo! Now go and watch your collar which I already scrubbed clean and left hanging to dry. . . and this time, make sure you better watch it well!


Kaya ayun, sa dinami-dami na puedeng pag-abalahan sa mundo, eto pa ang kapalaran ko! Pagbantayin ba naman ako ng collar! (So there I was. Of the many concerns troubling the world, there I was watching this collar! There goes my fate!)


At pag suot ko na iyang dyaskeng collar na iyan, aba, parang may identity nga ako! (And when I wear that collar, it actually feels like I found my identity!)

Waring gusto kong magsindak at takutin lahat na dumadaan! Waring gusrong kong mag-inarte para lang sabihing hoy, pansinin nyo ko! (Now I feel like scaring all the passersby. It feels like I wanted to act up as if to call attention to myself!)

Pero hindi naman identity ko iyan. (But that's not my identity)

At sa tutuo lang, sadyang nawala ko lang ang dyaskeng collar sa damuhan noong hinabol ko yung paru-paro. At iyan talaga ang nangyari pero yari ako kay Lui pag malaman niya na pinaglalaruan ko na naman ang bisita sa paligid namin! (And the truth is, I really lost my collar in the bushes when I chased the butterfly but Lui will nag me when she finds out I harass the visitors around us)

At iyan ang identity ko. Astig pero galante di ba?
(And that's my real identity. Cool and gallant right?)

Ang Taua-Taua . . . bow-wow-wah!

The Taua-Taua! Bow!
Translated by Quark


Eto po ang Taua-Taua plant. (This is the Taua-Taua plant) Ang tamang pagbigkis niyan ay "tawa-tawa" na parang halimaw kung humalaklak! (It is pronounced like "tawa-tawa" like a laughing beast!)

Sabi ni Ka Ingkong Tanda na mahusay raw ito sa dengue. (The Old Man Ingkong said this plant is good for dengue) Aba, hindi gamot sa dengue ha! (But this is not the cure for dengue) Aba, walang gamot sa dengue, mamatay! (But there is no cure for dengue!) Ang Taua-Taua ay pampalunas lamang. Pang taas ng platelet count daw. Pang taas ng pag-asa sa hirap at sakit. (The Taua-Taua is only for relief. To raise the platelet count. To raise your hope when in pain and suffering)


At kung libre aba siyempre pa, itanim mo na, Luchie, at gawing tsaa! (And if it is free, go plant it now, Luchie, and make tea!) Mabuti na iyung nag-iingat sa dami ng peste sa paligid! (It is better to be safe with all the pests around!)

At ito naman ang Tawa-Tawa:
(And here's Laughter:)

Mistulang nawala sa sarili sa paghanap ng Taua-Taua ang mga bruha! Kaya ng makakita aba mistulang baliw sa kakatawa! (They look like mad searching for Taua-Taua and when they found one, they laugh like mad!)

Aba, pati si Troy nata-taua-taua!
(Hey, even Troy is laughing!)


At siyempre kung tawanan rin lang, join ako dyan!
(And of course when it comes to laughter, count me in!)

O di ba major-major na taua-taua yan?
(Now, isn't that a major-major laughter?)