Hoy Sumo! May Valentine Ka Ba?

Hey Sumo! Do You Have A Valentine?
English by Bogart



Ano?
What?



Anong Valentine? What Valentine?
Aba, biyudo, ahem, biyudog kaya ako!
Hey, I'm a widower, er widogwer!



Siyempre may Valentine ako. Yumao na.
Of course, I had a Valentine but she passed away.



Eh kung kukulitin mo ako buong araw, sige hahanap ako . . .
But if you will pester me all day, I will go look for one . . .



Ahem, iha? Baka hinahanap mo si Valentine, eto ako nasa likod mo lang. Hehe.
Er, little girl? If you're looking for Valentine, here I am behind you. Haha.


Nakup, tigilan na nga ninyo ako at baka makulong pa ako ng nanay nyan!
You better stop pestering or else I will get jailed by the mother of that girl!


Ahahay, valentine . . . .

Hey, Kong Fat Xi Choi!

Fat Choi Hey King Kong!
Kong Fat Choi Hey, Wat Xi Sumo!

Ah, basta, hapinuyir for short, to all my Chinese friends. Salamat sa Tikoy ha. At wag ka na mahiya dagdagan ng mooncake, hopia at ampao.
That's happy new year in chinese. Thanks for sending tikoy (sticky cake) and don't be shy sending me mooncake, hopia (stuffed bread) and ampao (crispy rice snack).


Naku, hindi po year of the Lion.
No, it is not the year of the Lion.



Year of the Tiger sa mga Chinese ngayon. Akala ni Sweepy Tiger yan. Naku, eh unan ni Luchie ng paa niya iyan. Aba, noong niregalo ni Lui kay Luchie iyan noon, medyo mataba pa iyan. Naku, medyo napisa na siguro sa bigat ng paa ni Luchie!
It is the Year of the Tiger for the Chinese people. Sweepy thought that was the Tiger. That is Luchie's foot pillow. When Lui gave Luchie that before it was still plump, but now it looks flat possibly from the heavy feet of Luchie!



Aba, iyan din ang paborito kong unan. Kung saan naaamoy ko ang mga mahal ko siyempre doon ako. Kaya matapos pa-arawan ni Lui iyan sa katapusan amoy ko naman ang maghahari diyan. Sana gusto rin ni Luchie ang amoy ko!
But that is my favorite pillow too. I go wherever I can smell my loved ones. That is why when Lui is done airing this pillow, it my own scent that will take the place of Luchie's scent. I hope Luchie will like my scent too!



At pagmasdan mo lang ang Tiger sa diyaryo na binabasa ng anak kong si Sweepy . . .
And notice the tiger in the newspaper that my pup Sweepy is holding . . .




. . . at pagmasdan mo naman ang totoong tigre na ito:
. . . and compare with this tiger:




Awwwwwwwwooooooooooof!

Teka, makakain na nga . . . ginutom tuloy ako!
Wait, I better eat now . . . 'cause I got hungry!


Btw, I translate myself again. My translator pup Bogart has diarrhea from over-eating!

Hoy, hindi ako Vampire!

Hey, I Am Not A Vampire!
I translate myself . . .



Iyan ang mukha ko kapag inaapi ako.
Iyan ang mukha nang inapi.
Apihin ba naman ako.
Ng sarili ko pang anak!
Iyan ang tinawag sa akin ni Sweepy.
Dyaske talaga ang kumag na iyan.
Sukat ba namang tawagin akong bampira!
Eh, mukha bang bampira ang mukha na iyan, Lui?
That is how I look when somebody is putting me down. Sweepy just called me a vampire in his post. My own pup no less! Do I look like a vampire, Lui?


Lui:
Aba, oo naman! Oh yes!
Minsan nga (sometimes), you really scare me, Sumo!
Remember last last week during the full moon . . . .



I heard you howling all night . . .



You sounded like a beast out to suck blood!
Believe me, Iwas so scared that I did not go out.
I just took a peek from the windows and that's when I saw you!




You sound scary. Naku, yun pala, you were the one scared! Hay naku, if you did not call me from my room, I would have stayed inside the house! Remember, Sumo?



But you're right. You are not a vampire even if you sometimes look like one. For me you are loveable, sweet and extremely gorgeous! You should not take Sweepy's teasing seriously. Sweepy is just having fun, as always!


Hmp, isa ka pa, Lui! Inaapi ninyo ako talaga. Eh ni sa panaginip di ko feel ang human blood kaya. Naku, saksakan ng virus and bacteria kaya ng dugo ng tao! Yikes kaya! Di bale, wait ko na lang ang Valentine baka may makuha akong puso . . . na cake!
Hmp, you're just like him, Lui! You are all putting me down. Never in my wildest dream did I have the urge for human blood which I'm sure is full of virus and bacteria. Yikes indeed! Never mind, I will wait for Valentine in case I get a heart . . .-shaped cake!