Ang Tabo . . . bow . . . wow-wow!

De Scooper . . . bow-wow-wow!
Engliz by MrLeach



Iyan ang tabo ko. dis s ma scooper.
Oras na para maligo ako. its tym 2bath.
Pero, nasaan na kaya si Lui? but wers lui?




Sandali lang at hahanapin ko.
w8 a bit il luk 4her.



Aba, saan kaya nagpunta yun?
hey, i wonder wer she went?

Ang tabo ang tunay na panligo ng Pinoy.
de scooper s real bath stuff 4filipinos.

Matipid sa tubig, magaan sa kamay, at puede pa gamitin sa kung saan-saan.
it saves water, e-z 2 handle, en can b used everywer.



Ang kaso lang, wala naman ang magpapaligo sa akin. Nakup, talo!
d thing s, nobody s der 2 gv me a bath. loser!



O sya, pag nangamoy ako rito, bahala na si Batman!
hey, if i stink down hir, its up 2 batman!


At pag hindi ka umalis sa tabi ko, Leach, baka tamaan ka ng tabo ko!
en if u dont leave me, leach, ul get hit by ma scooper!



MrLeach: now dat, popsy, s d real loser! im outta hir! im off 2 d spa! babu.

Paskong Nagdaan . . .

Christmas Past
Guest Translator: MrLeach



Ito ang kalye Pogi.
dis is handsome street yo!




Noong Pasko, ganito siya pag umaga . . .
laz krismaz it luks lyk ds during d day, yo! . . .


At kapag gabi, ganito naman . . .
en @nyt, luks lyk ds . . .



Aba, walastik ano! At wag ka, tutuong Pogi ang pangalan ng kalye na iyan sa barangay namin.
hey, wattagun! en watchit, s really Handsome de name of de street n r village.


Mistulang nagpapapogi talaga ang kalye na iyan tuwing Pasko.
luks lyk dat street s tryin 2 luk cutey-baloney every krizmaz.


Pero sa tutuo lang, eto talaga ang Pogi . . .
but n truth ds s d real handsum . . .



Aba, pang facebook ko yan. Malas lang wala akong FB! Astig di ba?
hey, daz 4 ma facebook but 2 bad, i hav no FB. eznt dat kewl?


Di bale ipapapost ko na lang kay Sweepy na merong FB. Sayang naman ang biometrics ko.
daz ok il jaz ask sweepy to post in hs FB so as nt 2 waste ma biometrics.


MrLeach: hey popsy! cud u also ask sweep 2 post ma handsum fo2 n hs fb?


I-post mo ang mukha mo sa dingding. Aba, tinamaan ng kulit ang linta na iyan! Post your face on the wall! Hey, that leech is getting too pesky! If Bogart will not translate my next post I will shave all his black furs . . . for life!

May Tanong Si Ka Berto

Berto Has A Question
Guest Translator: Ka Berto



Ang Tanong ni Berto: Bakit ko raw sinasabing malapit na ang Pasko?
Berto's Question: Why do I always say that Christmas is near?



Kung hindi mo napapansin, iyan ang walang kamatayang shout-out ko sa ibabaw ng mga kuwento ko. Walang kamatayan kasi ni minsan hindi ko inalis iyan, kahit tapos na ang Pasko. At wag ka, mag-ingat ka lang at wag mong i-click yan at baka masira PC mo. Arooooooo!
In case you did not notice, that is the undying "shout-out" message above my posts. Undying, because I never removed it at any time even when Christmas is over. And watch it and do not click on it or your PC will get broken. Arffffff!


Hindi naman talaga nagtatapos ang Pasko, Ka Berto. Tulad ng mga palamuti na ito . . .
Christmas does not really end, Ka Berto. Just like these decorations . . .



. . . na walang kupas ang ligaya at saya sa lahat nang makakakita niyan.
. . . that never fails to elicit joy and happiness to anyone who sees it.



Aba, kahit na ligpitin ang walang kamatayang, nakaka-atsing na mga palamuti na iyan . . .
And even if these sneezy dust-filled decorations are taken down and stored . . .


. . . na inabot lang ng apat na orocan, isama mo na ang mga ilawan . . .
. . . which took only four orocans (plastic boxes), including the lights . . .



. . . hinding-hindi mo talaga maililigpit ang Pasko, Ka Berto!
. . . you really can not remove and store away Christmas, Berto!


Oo, kahit na magmukhang baliw ang anak kong si Bogart . . .
Yes, and even if my pup Bogart look silly . . .



. . . sa kasusuot ng palamuti, na waring pilit ibinabalik ang saya ng Pasko . . .
. . . wearing the decorations in the hope of bringing back the joy of Christmas . . .


. . . na sadyang hindi naman talaga ito nagtatapos. Ang Pasko ay pag-gunita ng isang dakilang pagsilang, at lahat ng ligaya ng pagsilang ay hindi nagtatapos sa pagsilang lamang. Ito ay tuloy-tuloy na lumalaki at binubusog ang puso mong uhaw at sabik sa ligaya nang pag-ibig.
. . . which in truth does not really ends. Christmas is reliving a great birth. And the joy of the birth does not end in the birth. This will continue to grow and fill your thirsty heart aching for the joys of love.


Iyan talaga ang tunay na Pasko, Ka Berto. Pag-ibig na wala naman talagang kamatayan. Kahit pumanaw man ang minamahal mo, patuloy pa rin ito nabubuhay sa puso mo nang masayang pag-alaala.
That is the real Christmas. Love that does not end. Even if the one you love has left, it will continue to nourish your heart with happy memories.


At oo, hindi ko rin nakakalimutan ang namayani kong asawang si Pica. Kung buhay siya ngayon, aba, magiging 19 na siya! O, 133 kung tao siya! Aba, sino naman ang gustong mabuhay nang ganuon?
And yes, I have not forgotten my late mate Pica. If she is alive today she will be 19 or 133 in human years! Hey, who wants to live that long?


Kaya't masaya ako na pumanaw si Pica na masigla at masaya. At sa puso ko, siya ay parang Pasko. Walang kamatayan at walang ka-kupas-kupas . . . Salamat Ka Berto sa pagsulat at pagtanong mo.
That is why I am happy that Pica left happy and hearty. And in my heart, she is like Christmas: undying and eternal . . . Thank you, Berto for writing and asking me.


KaBerto: And thank you too, Sumo, for responding wisely to my question. You are quite a funny and smart dog for your age. Hehe. Please try to visit me so we can have a drink somewhere . . .

Kalendaryo ng Buhay

Calendar of Life
but I prefer . . .
Calendar . . . for life!
Guest Translator: Sweepy the SuperDog



Ay salamat! Dumating na din ang pinakahihintay kong kalendaryo.
At last! The calendar I was waiting for has arrived! (Hey Popsy! Don't forget I made them! - Sweepy)


Mabuti na lang at dumating ito bago sumapit ang kaarawan ko noong isang linggo at kung hindi, sigurado makakalimutan ko ang sarili kong bertdey! Sus, sumalangitnawa ang makakalimutin na asong ito!
It's a good thing the calendar arrived before my birthday last week or else, I am sure I will forget my own birthday! (Popsy, you can't be that bad! - Sweepy) Geez, heaven help this forgetful dog!



Nakup, medyo maraming dagdag-bawas ata ang kuwento ko ngayon ah. Aba, parang eleksyon na! Eh kung yang anak kong si Sweepy ang hahayaan ninyong magsalin ng kuwento ko, aba siguradong aabutin tayo ng siyam-siyam! Nasaan na naman ba si Bogart?
Oh-oh, looks like there are many add-ons and missing pieces in my story today. Hey, it feels like election time! But that's how it is if you allow my pup Sweepy to translate my stories it will take years! (Oooopsy sorry, Popsy! -Sweepy) . . . Now where's Bogart?

Sweepy: Bogart is sleeping, Popsy! He immediately takes a nap after eating and left me to play alone! He doesn't do anything but sleep all day! I really wanted to play but he's always snoring in his house! I wanted to . . .


Enuf! Aba aba aba naman Sweepy! Maghunos-dilis, este, dili ka naman! Aba, parang machine gun ka naman kung magkwento ah! Aba, para kang nakakain ng pwet ng manok ah!
Enough! Hey, hey hey Sweepy! Get a hold of yourself! You're like a machine gun when you talk! You sound like you've eaten a chicken's butt!

(Popsy, I eat butts! And what's wrong with eating chicken's butts?-Sweepy)


Nagiging madaldal ka! Yan ang napapala mo! Tinamaan ka ng magaling!
You become talkative, that's what you get! Hit you right! (ohhh, so that's why Keeper Lui was laughing when I ate the chicken's butt. Now I know why I can't control myself! Hey Popsy, do you think Keeper ate chicken's butt too, because she is super talkative too! -Sweepy)


Aba, malay ko. Dyaskeng tuta na ito! Idadamay pa ako! At sandali lang. Kailan naman naging Q&A ang blog ko?
Who knows! Darn this pup to put me on the spot! And wait a minute. Since when did my blog became a Q&A? (Oooopsy sorry, Popsy! It just feels too good to be here for a change! -Sweepy)


Naku, wag kang mawili hane? O sya, pagpasensyahan nyo na ang mga kulang sa pansin.
Hey, just don't make yourself at home, ok? Anyway, please bear with those with "attention-deficit" . . .


At para matahimik na ang kumag na iyan . . . si Sweepy nga ang gumawa ng kalendaryo namin.
Ok, just to appease him . . . it is really Sweepy who made our calendar. (And don't forget I make one every year too, Popsy -Sweepy)


Mahilig talaga iyan magkukutingting ng kung anu-ano. Waring pang Guinness Book talaga ang isang iyan pero ayaw kong payagan mag-ala-showbiz. Aba, magulo kaya ang buhay ng mga celebrities. Tama na muna ang mag-blog lang. Pero tingnan naman ninyo ang hirap ng pobreng alindahaw na iyan buong buwan?!!
He loves to tinker and is perfect for the Guinness Books but I won't allow him to be popular like in show business. Celebrities have difficult lives! I'd rather he sticks with his blog. And look how the poor thing worked all month just to finish our calendar!


Medyo OA din yan! Psssst, pansinin nyo na lang, please lang!
He's also kindda OverActing. (Popsy, I-Am-Not! -Sweepy) Please spare him some attention!


O sya, mabalik nga tayo sa kalendaryo ko at baka kung saan-saan mapunta ang kuwento ko . . .
Ok, we better go back to my calendar story before I get distracted further . . .


O makinig ka, Sweepy . . . Ang kalendaryo ay mahalaga. Nagpapahiwatig ito ng pagdaloy ng panahon. Mga tadhanang iginuhit sa mga araw na lilipas at lumipas. Mga pangyayaring ikaw lang ang maaaring magpasya kung anong klaseng buhay ang gusto mong i-ukit sa kalendaryo ng buhay. Mga kasaysayang masarap, makabuluhan o puro kaguluhan lamang. Nasa palad mo iyan, kaibigan. Pagmasdan mo ang bawat araw na dadaan sa iyong kamalayan at diyan mo matutukoy ang tunay mong pagkatao. . .

Wow, Popsy! That was sooo profound. I can't hardly translate it but I'll try . . . My Popsy Sumo said: "Listen well, Sweepy. The calendar is important. It shows the flow of time. It is fate etched in the coming days and those that passed. They are experiences that only you can decide what kind of life you wanted etched in the calendar of life. They are fun stories, meaningful, or even riotous. It is in your hands, my friend. Observe every passing days in your life and you will find the real you . . .

Popsy, That-Was-Hot! My days are just as hot. Please tell them to visit my blog to see. This is sooo cool! Can I translate here again, Popsy?


Naku, magtigil ka. Bumalik ka na sa pinanggalingan mo at baka makagat lang kita. I said stop it. You better go back where you came from before I bite you off! Ahhhh, I might have to translate myself sooner than soon. . . .

Isang Dekadang Kadiliman!

A Decade of Darkness!
Translated by Ka Berto


Isang dekada na nga . . .
It is already a decade . . .


At 'yan ang puedeng mangyari sa araw na iyan!
And this is what may happen on that day!


Malakamatayang minatamis na kung anu-ano!
Death-like sweetened whatever!

Aba, ano pang hinihintay mo? Sugod, Sumo!
So what are you waiting for? Attack, Sumo!


Kapag tumambad sa harap mo ang ganyan, iisa lang ang atake diyan. Namnamin mo lahat ng icing muna para kung may mangyari pa na kung anu-ano, sigurado na swak mo na ang tunay na sarap!
If something like that is served in front of you, there is only one thing to do. You savor all the icing first so that when something happens, you're sure you already got the best of it!



Kamatayang . . . Kasarapan . . . para lamang sa Kaitiman!
Deadly . . . delicious . . . only for the Dark One!


Sandali. Sandali lang. Bago magkalimutan, Nasaan kaya ang panulak?
Wait. Wait a minute. Before we forget, I wonder where is the chaser?


Ahahay! Sampung taon na ako ngayon. Madilim pa rin. Aba siyempre maitim ako kaya't madilim! Madilim din minsan ang mundo ko, marahil kasi tumatanda na ako, at medyo lumalabo na ang paningin ko. Pero wag ka. Matapang pa rin ang pang-amoy ko! Isang singhot lang alam ko ang mga nangyayari sa paligid ko, kahit nakapikit ako!
Ahhhh! I am ten years old today. Still dark. But of course I am black that is why I am dark! Sometimes my world is dark too, maybe because I am getting old and my eyesight is getting blurry. But watch it. My sense of smell is still strong! One sniff and I know what is happening around me even with my eyes closed!

Isang amoy lang at alam ko na may cake sa tabi-tabi. At sa isang amoy na iyon, alam ko rin na sadyang akin ang cake na iyan. Kaya't pakisabi lang sa mga anak ko na naghihintay diyan . . .
One sniff and I know that there is a cake somewhere. And in that single sniff, I also knew that that cake is especially made for me. So please tell my pups who are waiting . . .


. . . na sadyang akin lahat nang kinain ko na yon. . . at yung susunod . . . may parating para sa inyo, hoy! . . . ay para naman sa isa sa mga kumag na iyan, na sa maniwala kayo o hindi, ay nag-be-bertdey din ngayon! Oo, itong asong astig na ito ay naging ama agad sa unang kaarawan nya! O kaya nyo ba iyon!
. . . that everything I ate is really mine . . .and the next one . . yes, there is something for you! . . and it is also for one of my pups who, believe it or not, is also celebrating his birthday today! Yes, this cool dog became a father on his first birthday! Can you dig that!


Kaya't hapibertdey, Bogart! Aba, 9 yo na ang kumag na iyan! Siguradong may sariling kuwento iyan sa blog niya . . .
HappyBirthday, Bogart! That pup is now 9 yo! I'm sure he has his own story on his blog . . .


O sya, paano ba ang maging 10 taon?
Anyway, what does it take to be 10 years old?



Aba, malay ko! Itanong kaya ninyo sa isang kumag na iyan na walang ginawa kundi ang yakapin at asarin ako! Marahil iyan ang sekreto sa mahabang buhay. Pagmamahal, pag-aaruga, at respeto sa lahat ng bagay tulad na hayop at . . . . . Hoy Lui, may kasunod ba ang cake ko? Waring type ko kayang mag-salabat?
But I don't know! Why don't you ask that one who's got nothing better to do than hug and pester me! Maybe that's the secret of a long life. Love, care, and respect for every being like animals and . . . . Hey Lui, what's next after my cake? I think I'm ready for some tea?


Lui: Tea ka dyan! Hey, happy birthday Sumo! I'm glad you liked the cake I made for you! But don't get mad because I bought you a new local snack called "Aspin" enriched with Omega and L-Carnithine whatever, which is perfect for old, er, adult dogs like you. Happy 10th (and 70 in human years) drooly years and many more to come!

Saan Ka Ba Nagpunta, Sumo?

. . . ang tanggal mo kayang nawala!
But Where Did You Go, Sumo?
You were gone for sometime!
Translated by Bogart


. . . at ito ang dahilan:
. . . and this is the reason:



At ito pa!
And here's another one!



. . . at eto pa . . . kamatayan!
. . . and another . . . death!


Saksakan ng inggay na halos mahulog lahat ng balahibo ko sa inggay! Hoy, alam ba ninyo na saksakan ng lakas ang mga paputok ninyo???? Nabasag kaya pandinig ko!
It was so noisy that all my furs fell from the noise! Hey, do you know that your firecrackers are too loud???? My hearing got damaged!

Aba, pangalan pa lang tepok ka na! Bawang, superLolo, goodbyePhilippines, binLaden, at ang saksakan ng sabog power, ang goodbyeGloria at Ampatuan! MamaMiaSantaBarracudaPutukan! Mantakin mong nag-mistulang may giyera sa bahay naming Heaven buong buwan ng Disyembre! Oo, buong buwan, Tuchuck! Buong buwan kong tiniis ang saklap at hinagpis na mga damuhong iyan!
And the names alone can kill you! Bawang (garlic, a triangular piece of firecrackers that explodes when lit!), superLolo (superGrandpa, multiple bawangs in one lit!), goodbyePhilippines, binLaden, and the super blasting power, the goodbyeGloria and Ampatuan! MamaMiaSantaBarracudaFireworks! Just imagine that our house Heaven was like a war zone the whole month of December! Yes, the whole month, Tuchuck! I spent the whole month taking in the pain and misery brought by these people!



At bakit kamo ginagawa nila iyan? Para daw alisin ang malas! Nagpapaputok sila para daw ibuga ang malas sa paligid! Tinamaan at tamaan kaya kayo ng kidlat!
And why do you think they are doing this? To remove bad luck! They lit firecrackers to shoo the bad energies around them! May lightning hit you back!



Buti na lang abala ako sa kakabasa ng mga cards na pinadala sa amin. Silipin ninyo kay Sweepy kung anu-ano at sino-sino sila! Medyo naibsan ang takot at galit ko. Salamat friendships ha!
It's a good thing I got busy reading all the cards sent to us. Check out Sweepy to see and know who's-who and what's-what! It somewhat relieved my fear and anger. Thank you friends!


At eto si Lui!
And here's Lui!

Tinamaan ng magaling! Got hit hard!
Tinamaan ng sandamukal ng kung anu-ano! Mistulang napanis sa harap ng PC! Hindi kinaya ng power niya ang dami ng trabaho! Kaya kung na-miss na ulit namin ang isang katerbang deadline, iyan ang dahilan! Late na rin ang kalendaryo na gawa namin!
She had a deluge of whatever! She looked spent in front of the PC! She was not able to handle the load of work so if we miss all the deadlines, now you know! That includes the calendars we make!


At eto naman si Luchie . . .
And here's Luchie . . .

. . . hanggang sa katapusan ng mundo, este, ng taon, namimitas ng chico!
. . . up until the end of the world, er, the end of the year, she is up there picking chico fruits!


. . . para makabuo ng isang dosenang prutas para sa pag-salubong sa bagong taon. . .
. . . to gather one dozen fruits to greet the new year . . .



Iyan ang bayan ni Juan sa Disyembre! Masalimuot. Saksakan ng kasabihan at kung anu-anong kabaliwan. Nagpapaputok para magsaya at alisin ang inis sa buhay nila. Kumakain ng kung anu-ano kahit naghihirap ang mundo! Nagkakandarapa sa kung anu-anong bagay na wala namang kabuluhan!
And that's the land of Juan in December! Tension-filled. Full of crazy traditions. Firecrackers to have fun and to remove their anxieties. Eating all sorts of food in the midst of world crisis. Falling over themselves over meaningless things.


Hindi iyan ang tunay na diwa ng Pasko, kaibigan.
That is not the real essence of Christmas, my friend.


Ang Pasko ay pag-gunita ng pagsilang ni Kristo sa gitna ng kaguluhan. Ang pagsilang sa sabsaban kapiling ang mga tao at hayop na handang kupkupin ang nangangailangan. Ang pagmamahal sa gitna ng kahirapan. Ang pag-asa at pag-kalinga sa gitna ng kaguluhan. Iyan ang tunay na Pasko!
Christmas is the time to remember the birth of Christ at a time of crisis. To give birth in a manger surrounded by people and animals who are willing to help the needy. To love in the midst of poverty. To hope and help in the midst of crisis. That is the real meaning of Christmas!


Sana maligaya ang Pasko ninyo at dinadalangin ko na tumibay at gumanda ang buhay ninyo sa 2010.
I hope you had a merry Christmas and I pray that you will have strength and your life will be better in 2010.


. . . at sana gumising na si Lui kasi matatapos na ang Enero at wala pa rin ang kalendaryo ko!
. . . and I hope Lui wakes up because January is about to end and I still don't have a calendar!